We are hiring

Interested in following in the footsteps of some of the shittiest people on earth? Think you have what it takes to break every basic norm of human decency? We’d like you to join our team.

Associate Hector

That’s right – on your way to being the big dog. If you thrive in causing division, chaos and generally only care about yourself, this is the role for you!

Key Qualifications Include:

  • Being a shitty human being
  • Must have world-class lying skills and ability to always be a victim
  • Abandoning children
  • Hardcore drug addict (will consider someone in recovery if condescending enough)
  • Low sense of responsibility or accountability

Nice to haves:

  • Little education or work history, as well as low work effort
  • Long rap sheet – especially nice if 10+ years incarcerated
  • Government mooching significantly encouraged

The Girlfriend

Hector is always on the prowl for a new girlfriend – just ask the mother of his kids! All of them! So if that’s something that interests you, you might want to apply.

Key Qualifications Include:

  • Being really stupid. I mean unbelievably dense and gullible
  • Absolutely no backbone or spine of any kind
  • Low social skills and fewer manners or decency, particularly in social situations that call for it, i.e. Funerals.
  • Younger than 68. Preferably younger than 50 but willing to work around this.
  • Desire to give whatever little money you do have to support Hector’s lifelong pursuit of being an unemployed mooch.

Nice to haves:

  • If you are a jumbo twat that is always a plus
  • If you have a conservative mentality – especially around things like the woman’s place in the home, and how children should respect parents, regardless of their toxicity.